Gueve's Spot

            No, it was not about me achieving something. It is not about falling in love. It was a typical underdog moment. People won’t remember me winning that but even now when I remember that moment, I feel proud of myself. I fought with a guy.           It was my first year in my undergraduate and hostel life as well. I have a nerd look; spectacles, a lean physique and nearly 6 feet taller. Honestly speaking, I have a physique with no fat. I tend to receive a lot of ridicule from the people around me and it was never easy to face that and not ponder about that. But it was never possible to break that. The best I can do is to show my contempt. Yeah, that’s what I did on that day.           It was past 10 at night. I was half asleep. There was a guy, the Bully, who never understood the feeling of getting bullied. He was thrice the size of mine. He got a weird idea of irritating me on ...

I did not board the train. I assumed, the train waited for me To get aboard. I was not sure. I was not sure whether  It is the destined train for me.  I should have boarded. But what if it turns out To be the wrong train. That's my thought. I liked the train everytime It passed in front of me. Other days I liked the sound it makes And the way it runs. But I was not sure to get aboard That day. I was not sure whether this  Is the right one. Maybe I should have boarded  That train. But now I'm waiting for  For the perfect train. Or I wish it to be perfect. How should I know  It is perfect?

  Once upon a time, I saw her in my path, Which was her path too. We met, we talked, It was like we both have fallen And I wish that we both Should have fallen at once. I never fell or I was too steady To fall unlike her. Then when I fell, she neither Fell nor was steady to lift me up. Rather she waited for me To fall more deep or she was not Ready to pull me up, I’ll never know. When she readied herself To pull me up. Still she was not sure. Whether pulling me up is a Gute idea. But I wanted her to not pull me up. I wanted her to leave. To finally feel at peace. She left happily, I think. Somehow I got myself up To see her back on me. Yeah, she left and she was happy.

Wherever I go, a  load feels  over my mind. My weighing machine could not Spot the difference. I could never offload. Neither happiness nor sorrow could ever dissolve that. Had never felt guilty of my deeds for so long. Wish I had been good to her. Wish we had never met. Wish I were not ignorant of my deeds for long. Wish she had erased her memory of me. Wish I could get a good sleep at last. Wish any supreme being had its presence since being among the fellow humans makes me vulnerable. Empathising with people who’ve killed self. But I don't want the end for now, while life contains possibilities. I will overcome guilt because time may pass. Will I ?

  I had to lift her up. So I craddled her by her arm. Raised her to lean on my shoulder. She started to outcry. Is my spectacles scary? I thought. Maybe my face along with Spectacles clinging to it scared her. Somehow she prevailed over scare by my attempts to make her giggle. She giggled with her toothless mouth. Yet her smile was too adorable. Reminder for some artists who Relate smile’s beauty with the teeth. Slowly, her eyes started to drop Until close. Could sense her breath, She would have sensed mine. That moment,the world which seamed fast for me Slowed down a bit ’cause of an infant. The world became silent when She slept on my shoulders.

Shiny eyes, Frequent teeth emergence, and her fluffily crowded hair is the image I have of her Looked beautiful when she Makes up a face with a raised eyebrow than her smile where her teeth attracts attention. The moment I lean on her shoulders it felt like paradise, thought she is skinnier than me. She needs someone To care her. Like a child. I cared her like a friend. Her priority changed One day she cried. I was absent. But She found a shoulder to lean upon. Too late to wish but I wish it was mine.